Am I Swedish?

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.“ - Terry Pratchett.

I have now been back in Sweden (well on and off) since June of last year. So basically I have been here for one year. In some ways, I am Swedish. And in other ways, totally not. The following is an account of how well I have/have not acclimatized to Swedish society. And honestly, how well I have embraced the ways of my homecountry.

Signs that I am the rightful carrier of a Swedish passport:

I picked the correct winner of the Swedish edition of the Eurovision Song Contest. The contest, which has been described as a place for “tacky outfits, kitschy lyrics and questionable talent,” is huge in Sweden. For you non-Europeans, it’s basically a music contest where European nations pick their candidate - and this is made via several telecasted shows and voting etc - and send them to the big show, this year held in Vienna, Austria. Azerbaijan is among the contestants (it’s in Europe?!) and this year we even let Australia compete. I have never been a fan of the contest, but this year, good darn it, I went all in. Sweden competed with a rather good song, good scene show and one hot, charming Swedish boy, the candidate I picked from many other Swedish ones. I thought Sweden would have a decent chance of winning the whole thing, and we did! The Swedish contestant won the whole Eurovision Song Contest! Maybe I am a lucky charm – last time I saw the big finale, in 2012, Sweden also won first place. I am a humble person…yes.

In other news, my American Iphone is now unlocked and completely functioning on the European cell phone grid.

I have opened my orange envelope from the Swedish government containing my retirement fund myself for the very first time in my life. My dad has always done it for me: called me up wherever I happened to be in the world and gave me the grim news. As I have never really worked in Sweden and I have earned the vast majority of my money abroad, let’s just say I can’t retire this year and live comfortably. Or live at all. But give me a few years and it will all be fine and dandy. I am not retiring anytime soon. Except if I marry rich, of course, that goes without saying.

I have started speaking with a Swedish Southern accent from time to time. People with such accent sound friendly so I am not totally against it. Ever since I was a small child I have been fascinated with accents. Every year we went skiing at a place called Orsa in the “state” Dalarna, which is located in the middle of Sweden, and for one week, the accent spoken there was what came out of my mouth. So now I speak "skånska", the Southern accent, every now and then. However, I was taken aback the other day at work when someone complimented me for speaking such great Swedish for being an American...

I ride the bus to and from work and also for doing errands. I have even figured out rather easily which bus to take using the app “Skånetrafiken!” I walk to coffee shops and restaurants. I take the train to visit my parents and grandfather. I have no plans to get a car anytime soon. Well, if anyone wants to give me a Mini Cooper I would not say no, just for clarification. Or an Agera R from Koenigsegg for that matter. However, the public transport system is rather good in Sweden and people of all ages and walks of life use it.

I have applied for, and received, an ICA card (bonus card for a grocery store). This is a rite of passage into adulthood in Sweden. I am about 10 years (at least!) behind my peers on this one. 

At the moment I am writing this post I have invested in two blenders and one food processor. Two blenders because I totally broke the first one by overusing it and had to invest in a bigger one to accommodate my blending needs. This is HUGE for me as I have never really invested in good kitchen ware. I have been super fortune to have had kitchen stuff given to me over the years or found cheap ones at Wal-Mart or Target (oh no, involuntarily product placement!). But as I have always seen my many homes as temporary (some places I lived in for 3 months, some for 4 years) I have never allowed myself to buy nice stuff. My thought is now that if I would move around Europe I can most likely take these appliances with me. I have become an expert on electric voltage and plugs and ways to circumvent difficulties with those over the years. And I love to play in the kitchen for the moment and totally want to cultivate this new found love.

Okay so at times I am Swedish and comfortable with that. On the other hand there are times where I clearly am NOT Swedish:

Using English words and expressions is what I am comfortable with. When I get worked up over something, I want to speak English. All the way. Rather annoying for my parents and sister. I still write notes to myself in English and the grocery list is a mixture of Swedish and English. I have a really hard time with expressions in professional settings as I have only worked as a professional in English speaking countries. For example, at work I needed to use the Swedish version of the expression “Return to Sender” and I had to Google that one. I pronounce the names of companies totally in an American way. Sometimes I am using the correct Swedish word or expression but they come out sounding a bit formal. I guess I do that to overcompensate for the fact I don’t have a 100 percent firm grasp of my native tongue anymore.

Totally out of the loop when it comes to Swedish National Holidays. Not in terms of Christmas, Easter or Midsummer’s Eve, totally got them down. But Ascension Day?! Professional Sweden shut down and I was left with a limited number of bus lines and shops opened etc. Hit me by surprise to say the least. I tried to rack my brain to see if I could remember if we had this day off while I was still attending school in Sweden. Could not come up with an answer. In Sweden there is a separation of church and state. The reform was approved in 1996 and took place in the year 2000. But it seems as if we still celebrate Ascension Day. Okay, now I know for next year. And since it was a Thursday many Swedes enjoyed what we call “a squeeze day” and was off during Friday as well. Swedes work hard but oh loves their (our) time off too. And Pentecoast? My sis and I ventured down to the local gym only to find it was closing 20 minutes later due to this holiday. Needless to say, we still went in and did a hardcore workout - which I had to finish at home.

Although I have always been a bit of an adrenaline junkie (okay make that a massive junkie) and I used to ski downhill with the fastest speed possible and absolutely loved my skydive a few years back, I am now comfortable with driving 90-100 km/hour on the highway. In Sweden we can drive 110-120 km/hour. 100 km/hour is the equivalent to 62 miles/hour. I have been used to driving 65 miles/hour for the past 12 years. Okay okay, too many numbers!! I am not a numbers person. And I can honestly say that I did not keep to the legal speed limit at all times for the past 12 years, I mean c’mon! But I guess my muscle memory is telling my law abiding foot to drive 65 miles per hour. However, this is making me feel…old. I am working my way up to 110-120…it’s only a matter of time until I will be putting the pedal to the metal again on a regular basis. Pedal to the metal in the Mini or the Agera that is...

I totally have a bigger need for personal space than most Swedes do. I find people walking too close to my comfort zone in the grocery store for example very annoying. On the flip side, I love hugging my friends and while spending time in Argentina last year I fell in love with the kissing on the cheek among friends and acquaintances. So this personal space business confuses even me.

Some of these things are pretty funny, but at times it’s hard. I just have to give myself permission that it will take a while to grow accustomed to practices here. Last year when I left the US, I was scared. I took a step out into the unknown. I know it was hard for people to understand why Sweden was the unknown to me, a Swedish citizen with all the rights and privileges that comes with carrying the burgundy passport. I mean I have survived years on the road living in different places and countries and had both amazing experiences as well as some, quite frankly, terrifying ones. But again, I have been away for a long time. Sweden is just a new country for me to explore, and being the rightful owner of a Swedish passport can only take me so far in this process. The rest, well it’s up to me.